To the person who never came to my heart
I kept my doors open, I kept my doors closed
Sorry for not coming out looking for you
Now that the doors are locked & keys are left in the past
Just writing this to the one who never happened
It’s like replying to that one letter I never opened
Don’t know how to miss you as you were never there
In the dilemma of why should I actually care
Will remember that I missed someone but not actually what
Like some detail I wanted to add but got lost in the final cut
Biggest loneliness is when you’re alone & you don’t know it
and when you’re actually alone but you refuse to believe it
I filled that space with other things
When it should have been filled with a person
Sometimes it hits me that something doesn’t quite fit
But I failed to figure out that it was a person
I wish I had known what I was going to miss
when I crossed the bridge and decided not to look back
Now it’s too late, I’ve come this far, it’s been dismissed
Though I looked back I’m so far away to notice anyone I missed
It’s easier now to sail to the end than going back to start over
risking this peace I have with a label on my back as ‘loner’
For something that’s not assured I just cannot give it away
Everything I’m left with weighs more than, I should say
a spark, butterflies, a melting heart or whatever I don’t know
I’ve been there, done that but ended up with sorrow
Every time the door opened it was just the wrong time
Maybe the wrong door or the wrong side as the bell would chime
to let me know it’s time and I just had to accept it
What was meant to be, I think I realized it bit by bit
Door never opened to the right person with right timing
Maybe, just maybe, that’s why you never walked in
Sometimes I put my freedom on one side of the scale
and then put the one who never happened to the other side
Just to see which side would go down and not to be stale
It has always been the freedom that’s heavy plus my pride
It never crossed my mind that the scale could be wrong
or that what’s heavy is not always what we should look for
This obsession with freedom is so strong that it has grown
overpowering everything rooted deep down so on, so forth
Getting attached to the freedom is a dangerous thing
as it sometimes erases the true purpose of a human being
So I write this down, so one day I wish you would read this
I really don’t know how that could happen but I mean this
One should be lucky to find his way earlier
So that there’s enough time to go on that way
or to understand it wasn’t a turn so sincere
and to turn back, walk back and start all over again
Because the time goes on, the clock keeps ticking
Even when you don’t pay attention, it keeps ticking anyway
Once gone it’ll never come back, emboss it to your thinking
Time flies with everything and clock ticks our lives away
There’s no turning back as the end is actually closer
than the point where I crossed that bridge ending being a chaser
I have a lot in my hand to be proud, I must say
But time is not one of them, that’s the one that got away
But maybe when I think a little deeper in my mind
I think there’s a small blank space I ignored over and over again
which was supposed to be filled by a heart but I covered it with paint
So you my dear who never happened, who was never known
Don’t know if this is a confession or a pleading, have it your way
I’m sorry I didn’t come looking out for you from dawn
to dusk but I’m sure you also never felt the same
Did I keep the door closed when you were actually waiting there?
or was I so occupied with other things & didn’t hear the knock?
I don’t know, there are a lot of ‘what if’s like a nightmare
But nothing really matters now as I can’t beat the clock
Okay, so I hope you are happy where ever you are
not regretting the decisions you didn’t make & chances you didn’t take
I hope you are somewhere out there like a little star
brightening someone’s life staying so close or so far
Maybe, maybe one day we will meet each other
Some other universe, dimension or a timeline
Somewhere some place, hither or thither
I just don’t know maybe in another lifeline
I’m gonna break that damn door & remove it forever
build a wall so strong so I can’t go back & nobody comes by
So this is the end, le fin, no nothing and never
The last block is placed, take care, God bless & good bye!
Penned by SMA 