Untitled…

I’m sitting alone in my room looking at the empty glass
a bottle of wine is done, the second is open I couldn’t pass
I can hear it has started to rain, did I put any clothes outside?
I can’t recall, okay whatever, some wet clothes is the last problem I wanna hide

I fill another glass and start to drink thinking I may get some peace
Can the wine do it? I actually don’t know, looking at my life piece by piece
What I do understand is, it let me escape this misery for a while
That short period where I don’t feel all the crap around me is worthwhile

I remember this very room, how it used to be with some fancy lights
of different colours blinking time to time as you didn’t like candle lights
Okay neither did I, but I thought it would be cool but let you do what you like
Paint as you like, food as you like, drinks as you like even sometimes I dislike

We used to sit and eat and drink and talk in this very room
Those things we talked about life, gossip, movies from grocery to how to groom
I still remember the warmth in those talks and how cool that those were
even in the winter or summer or morning or evening, now things are getting started to blur

I gave priority to what you like instead of what I do
Thought keeping you happy was important as you were number one & number two
I taught myself to be happy by seeing you happy every time
I put my joy to third place, for your smile I’d give away my last dime

Me, my life myself became something that would seldomly pop up
Maybe to remind me that I’m also a human being & at some point I’d have to wake up
I think I still compensated well and did what I thought I should
to do my part, to get done what’s on my plate as best as I could

Then you’d start to change, start to see things in a different way
I noticed in the way you did things, the way you reacted & the way things you’d say
You were up to a different world which was never in the picture before
I don’t blame you for the change, but you forgot you weren’t alone there anymore

It wasn’t about you, wasn’t about me, it was about ‘us’, you know
I think I messed it up at the first place by telling what I like “Hey, no no!”
I forgot it’s about us and gave first place to you, thought it was right
You forgot it’s about us and gave first place to you & that was the red light

You were not ready to talk, was there anything to talk? I still think a lot
Until the last moment I sincerely thought both of us still has had a shot
to sit down and talk, know where we were and make it through nice and slow
and to go back to the days where we had our dreams, a future with shine and glow

You decided to walk away from me, from everything we thought we had
Looking back I realise maybe it wasn’t good I had but the bad…
Maybe I had flaws, who doesn’t? nobody’s perfect I accept
You weren’t either but it’s hard to believe you just forgot this ‘us’ concept

Now there’s only me alone, this house alone, in this ‘attempted home’
I’m free to do whatever I want so I empty another glass and look at the dome
All the effort I made, life I gave, time I spent is just gone
At the end I wound up in an empty house with broken dreams and all alone

No amount of wine can heal the wounds I have now in my heart
Even those will get healed they will leave scars as they depart
I fill another glass anyways just to feel high, feel away from this pain
It’s still like to keep clothes dry while keeping them outside in the rain

My best days are gone, what I thought I did good was in vain
I don’t know how I can be okay, cool and continue to be sane
Don’t ever commit too much on someone unless you’re ready to take the pain
I’ve been there and done that, I’m never gonna fall into that trap again.