Author: sisiramark

I write about the things I saw, heard, felt and imagined.
Love nature, wildlife, poetry, rock music and photography.

In Retrospect

To the person who never came to my heart
I kept my doors open, I kept my doors closed
Sorry for not coming out looking for you
Now that the doors are locked & keys are left in the past
Just writing this to the one who never happened
It’s like replying to that one letter I never opened
Don’t know how to miss you as you were never there
In the dilemma of why should I actually care
Will remember that I missed someone but not actually what
Like some detail I wanted to add but got lost in the final cut

Biggest loneliness is when you’re alone & you don’t know it
and when you’re actually alone but you refuse to believe it
I filled that space with other things
When it should have been filled with a person
Sometimes it hits me that something doesn’t quite fit
But I failed to figure out that it was a person
I wish I had known what I was going to miss
when I crossed the bridge and decided not to look back
Now it’s too late, I’ve come this far, it’s been dismissed
Though I looked back I’m so far away to notice anyone I missed

Tags fiction, Life, Loneliness, Love, writing

Life

You Know It’s Time

Swimming through the thoughts just looking for a way out
so that I no longer have to swim
Where I could float without any weight
Where the sun’s gone down and all the lights were dim
Far away from all these looks, stares & frowns
and getting called out for every damn up & down
I’m tired of this swim from skin to bones
getting moved all over like in a chess game’s pawns
I just wish I could vanish & go away from every damn thing
every damn one and every damn being
to somewhere even myself won’t bother myself anymore
Where no worries exist
Where I can close my eyes in peace for sure

Tags Life, mental-health, writing

Love and Romance

Never Lived

I died one day, I went somewhere
Somewhere in the afterlife
I looked around to see someone
If it wasn’t hell I was just fine
I took some steps, walked alone
hoping something to happen, sometime
To my surprise I found no one
Felt like I was the only one alive

There was a pond with crystal clear water
The surface of it was resembling a mirror
I walked to it and I looked into it closer
There I saw my face
I’ve had never seen it more clearer

Life

Changed

I remember the days
Where to dream I was not afraid
To walk by there were many ways
Life was light never had to worry about daily bread
I had all the time
to do whatever I want
Things went bad time to time
Had no big deal between do & don’t
World will never gonna be the same again
We have changed, world has changed
Missing that freedom brings me a little bit of pain
’cause we have changed, I have changed

Love and Romance

The Rose and the Stem

You’re so beautiful and lovely
I don’t have to pretend
You’re so colourful and comely
You put us on the mend
You were born to look good, stay like that
and be adorable
You can fix the moods, a gift like that
is so admirable

And you have become their stars and moon
and that is the way it goes
You’re meant to be like that for a few noons
The truth they don’t but you know…

Uncategorized

New World Order

Have you also been told that
one day the truth gonna win the world?
That all liars will get defeated
and they will loose the world?
But I’m so sorry my friend
I’ll tell you what, this is gonna hurt
Okay brace yourself, this is the truth
that you have never heard

The ones who cheats
The ones who uses the tricks
They are the ones who take the lead in the end
Those endure the heat,
Who doesn’t kick back when receiving the kicks
You all gonna be the stones they’re gonna step on, my friend
Your decorum will get washed down to drain
Trust me, I know how it is to bear that pain
It’s a nightmare to see your goodwill go in vain
That’s the new world order, it is so plain
Oh it is so plain…

Love and Romance

I Knew I Lost Myself

In an evening with little sunlight
falling through the meadows
Between the small yellow and red
leaves falling as the wind blows
slowly…
I saw her face
and that moment I knew I lost myself

In a morning with the chirping of the birds
coming with the sound of the winds
through the little cold breeze
gazing with the rays of dawn reminds
calmly…
I saw her face
and that moment I knew I lost myself

Uncategorized

My Last Shot

It was before I closed the doors, I tried
It was before I locked them for good, yes, I’ve not lied
It’s always a mirage, that’s exactly what I find
And I’ve just added another lesson to the list and wind
up in the face of refusal, denial and rejection
Life took me through the hard path to unveil the complexion
Okay alright, I’m done, that’s all I’ve got
No more attempts, I’ll tie my hands, that was my last damn shot

Uncategorized

Untitled…

I’m sitting alone in my room looking at the empty glass
a bottle of wine is done, the second is open I couldn’t pass
I can hear it has started to rain, did I put any clothes outside?
I can’t recall, okay whatever, some wet clothes is the last problem I wanna hide

I fill another glass and start to drink thinking I may get some peace
Can the wine do it? I actually don’t know, looking at my life piece by piece
What I do understand is, it let me escape this misery for a while
That short period where I don’t feel all the crap around me is worthwhile

I remember this very room, how it used to be with some fancy lights
of different colours blinking time to time as you didn’t like candle lights
Okay neither did I, but I thought it would be cool but let you do what you like
Paint as you like, food as you like, drinks as you like even sometimes I dislike

Uncategorized

Miss the Day I Never Had

I was waiting in front of the altar, waiting for her
Almost not having a clue of the day, which month, which year
Was standing there to deliver the vows and become one
Those were some of the longest minutes I’d waited for that special one

And the door of the church was opened
There she was, she’d walk in through the door
Everybody turned and happily looked at her
as she stepped in to me nice and slow